What to do when someone dies
If someone has just died, there is very little you need to do straight away. Almost nothing has to happen tonight.
This page sets out the first few steps in the order they usually come. If you'd rather talk it through than read it, ring 01980 623204 at any hour and we'll take you through it.
- The first few hours
- Registering the death
- Bringing someone into our care
- Who needs to be told
- Grief and support
If someone dies at home
If the death was expected, ring the person's GP surgery. Out of hours, ring 111. A doctor or a senior nurse will confirm the death.
Once that's done you can ring us and we'll come to you, and there's no hurry. Some families would rather we came straight away; others want a few hours, or want to wait until someone has driven over from further afield. Both are completely normal, and we'll come whenever you're ready — including through the night.
If you'd like to spend some time with them at home first, that's your right and it's more common than people imagine. Keep the room as cool as you can, and cover them with a sheet when nobody's in the room.
If the death was sudden or unexpected, ring 999.
If someone dies in hospital or a care home
The staff there will have done this many times and will guide you through the first part. They'll usually tell you when the paperwork is ready and which register office you'll need.
Ring us as soon as you feel able. We'll speak to the hospital or the home directly and make the arrangements for bringing the person into our care, so that's one less thing on your list.
If the death was sudden, or the cause is unclear
Some deaths are referred to the Coroner's Office — usually where a death was sudden, unexplained, or the doctors can't be certain of the cause. It doesn't mean anything is wrong, and it happens more often than families expect.
It's still worth ringing us early. We'll liaise with the Coroner's office on your behalf and can start making provisional arrangements, so that when permission comes through you aren't beginning from scratch.
Post-mortems and inquests
If a post-mortem is needed, it doesn't prevent you seeing the person afterwards, and they can still be dressed as you'd want. If you have an objection to a post-mortem for any reason, tell the Coroner's Office — though you should know that where the Coroner has decided one is required, it goes ahead regardless.
Where a death was unnatural or unexplained, the Coroner may open an inquest. An inquest isn't a trial: there's no prosecution and no defence, and its only purpose is to establish who died, and when, where and how. The funeral is usually allowed to go ahead well before the inquest concludes. While it's open you can't register the death in the usual way, so the Coroner issues an interim certificate instead, which banks and other organisations will accept in the meantime.
What happens before you can register
A lot of the advice still online is out of date.
Every death in England and Wales is now reviewed independently before it can be registered — either by an NHS medical examiner or, in some cases, by a coroner. A medical examiner is a senior doctor who wasn't involved in the person's care. They look over the medical records, agree the cause of death with the doctor who's certifying it, and then ring you.
That phone call matters. It's a chance to ask anything you're unsure about, and to raise anything that's troubling you about the care your relative received. Many families find it useful. Some find it hard. There's no obligation to have a long conversation if you'd rather not.
Once the medical examiner has spoken to you and sent the certificate to the register office, you can book an appointment to register the death.
Registering the death
You have five days from the register office being told the cause of death — not five days from the death itself. It's a common misunderstanding and it causes families unnecessary panic. The clock starts when the medical examiner sends the certificate across, which may be several days after the death.
You register at the register office for the district where the person died. For most of the families we look after that is in Wiltshire, and you have to book an appointment first — you can't turn up. Ring the Wiltshire registration service on 0300 003 4569, Monday to Friday between 9am and 4pm. They'll confirm your deadline when you book, so if you're worried about the five days, that call settles it.
Only certain people can register a death. It needs to be a close relative, someone who was present at the death, or the person taking responsibility for the funeral. If you're not sure whether that's you, ask when you ring.
What to have in front of you at the appointment
The registrar will ask for all of this. It's worth gathering it before the appointment rather than during it.
- Full name, and any previous names, including a maiden name
- Date and place of birth
- Date and place of death
- Usual address
- Marital status
- Occupation, or former occupation
- Name, address and occupation of a surviving husband, wife or civil partner
- National Insurance number — theirs, and their surviving spouse's or civil partner's
What you'll come away with
The green form, officially the certificate for burial or cremation. It's what allows the funeral to go ahead. These days the register office usually sends it straight to us electronically; if they hand it to you instead, pass it on as soon as you can.
Copies of the death certificate, which banks, insurers, pension providers and share registrars will each want to see. They cost more if you order them later, so buy enough on the day — most families need more than they expect, and four or five is a sensible starting point. Count one for every bank account, building society and shareholding, and be aware that National Savings and Premium Bonds will want an original.
A reference for Tell Us Once, the government service that notifies HMRC, DWP, the passport and driving licence offices and the council in one go, rather than you writing to each of them.
Bringing someone into our care
Whenever you're ready, ring us and we'll come. During the day it is our own private ambulance and our own staff.
Our office hours are Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm. Outside those hours, and at weekends, you will get Alan. Whoever you get is one of us, and it is the same handful of people the whole way through.
From that point on, we'll keep you informed about where the person is and what's happening. You're welcome to visit: there is a chapel of rest at Amesbury, which is where families visit, and another at Salisbury we can open by arrangement.
There is no rush to make any decisions about the funeral itself. We can talk about that when you're ready, and not before.
Two things worth checking first
Was there a funeral plan? A pre-paid plan will usually set out what the person wanted and will have paid for most of it already. It's worth looking before you start arranging, because it saves you guessing.
Did they leave any wishes? Sometimes these are written into a will, sometimes they're in a drawer, and sometimes one member of the family was simply told. A will may also name the person who's taking legal responsibility for the estate, which is worth knowing early.
Who needs to be told
None of this has to happen immediately, and most of it can wait until after the funeral. But two are worth doing sooner rather than later.
The bank, so the accounts can be secured and nothing can be taken fraudulently. And the DWP, if the person was receiving a state pension or any benefits, so that payments stop and you aren't asked to repay an overpayment months later.
When you register the death you'll be given a reference for Tell Us Once, which handles HMRC, the DWP, the passport and driving licence offices and the council in a single step. For everyone else — employer, pension providers, insurers, utilities, landlord — keep a note of who you've spoken to and when. It sounds fussy, but a fortnight later you'll be glad of it.
Telling friends and wider family is its own job, and you don't have to do it alone. Ask someone you trust to take a branch of the family each. If the person was active on Facebook or similar, a single post often reaches people a phone round would miss.
Grief
Grief doesn't follow a schedule and it doesn't look the same for everyone. Some people cry, some go quiet, some need to talk it through again and again, some throw themselves into practical tasks. Some feel relief that a long illness has ended, and then feel guilty about the relief. All of that is ordinary.
The weeks after a funeral are often harder than the days before it. The arrangements give you something to do; when they stop, the quiet arrives. If you find that difficult, you are not doing anything wrong.
There's no obligation to speak to anyone about it. But if you'd like to, these are the people we'd point you towards:
- Cruse Bereavement Support The national bereavement charity. Free helpline 0808 808 1677.
- Samaritans For anyone who needs to talk, at any hour of any day. 116 123.
- Child Bereavement UK For families with children who are grieving, and for the death of a child. 0800 02 888 40.
The New Normal
A charity running free peer support groups for people who are grieving — not counselling, and not led by professionals, but people who have been bereaved themselves. Most groups meet online, so you can join from home, and there are separate groups for particular kinds of loss. Open to anyone, with a lot of people in their twenties and thirties. thenewnormalcharity.org · registered charity 1187513.
Locally, Salisbury District Hospital has a bereavement suite — worth asking about if the death happened there.
You're also welcome to ring us. We're not counsellors and we won't pretend to be, but we've sat with a great many families and we know who to point you towards.
The things people search for at two in the morning
How long do I have to register a death?
Five days — but from the register office being told the cause of death, not from the death itself. That changed in September 2024 and a lot of the advice still online is out of date. Ring Wiltshire's registration service on 0300 003 4569 and they'll confirm your deadline when you book the appointment.
What is a medical examiner?
A senior doctor who wasn't involved in the person's care. Since September 2024 every death in England and Wales is reviewed either by a medical examiner or by a coroner before it can be registered. They'll ring you to talk through the cause of death, and you can raise anything that's worrying you.
What is the green form?
The certificate for burial or cremation. It's what allows the funeral to go ahead. The register office usually sends it straight to us electronically these days, so often there's nothing for you to do — but if they hand it to you instead, pass it on as soon as you can.
Do I have to book an appointment to register?
Yes. In Wiltshire you can't turn up without one. Ring 0300 003 4569, Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm.
Who is allowed to register the death?
A close relative, someone who was present at the death, or the person taking responsibility for the funeral. If you're not sure whether that's you, ask when you ring to book.
Is there help with the cost?
There may be. If you're on certain benefits you may be able to claim a Funeral Expenses Payment from the DWP — see gov.uk/funeral-payments. Tell us early rather than late: almost everything that can be done about cost has to be done before the funeral, not after it.
How many death certificates will I need?
More than most people expect. Banks, insurers, pension providers and the Land Registry will each want to see one, and National Savings and Premium Bonds will want an original. Four or five is a sensible starting point. Buy them on the day you register — they cost more if you order them afterwards.
Can I keep my relative at home?
Yes, and more families do than you might think. Keep the room as cool as you can and cover them with a sheet when nobody's in the room. Ring us whenever you're ready and we'll come.
What if the death has been referred to the coroner?
It's more common than people expect and it doesn't mean anything is wrong. Ring us anyway — we'll deal with the coroner's office on your behalf and can start making provisional arrangements.